The Simple Things

Sitting out on my back porch this morning the little swallows are dive bombing and upset I am sitting close to their nest, that is resting the crook of my porch. The wind is slightly blowing and the sky overcast. It's been so hot lately that this seems like the perfect morning. I've forgotten the simple pleasures of life. The cool breeze, reading a book, the smell of fresh rain. Where did I get so off track? Wanting to be so important, climbing the corporate ladder, wanting to be more than I am that I have so forgotten who I am. The things I loved to do, before I became whoever it is that I am now. Who is this person? I don't know.

I honestly hate the electronic age. I feel like my family isn't even a family anymore. No one really talks to each other its all phones, tablets, laptops, video games. All day, every day. There is no interest in life outside of that. No interest in each other, just the games. I feel like I don't fit in my own family anymore. How did this happen? When did I get so tired of the fight that I just gave up.

I miss the simple things in life. I miss the simple life, itself. I miss human connections, board games, a good book, playing music on the porch. I think our world is much worse off without the simple things.

The Changing of the Guard

My mom passed away. That one sentence by itself is enough to make the whole of my emotions collapse. It's been 3 weeks today and 1 week today since her memorial service. 3 weeks without my mom. There were times we didn't speak or see each other for years. We had a rocky relationship, to say the least, but we could talk if we wanted and now in the blink of eye that is gone. These are feelings and emotions I am familiar with and yet they are different in a way I can't even describe. I don't know how to go on in the life without her my "nemesis", cheerleader, favorite person to hate. The love, laughter, screaming it's all a part of who we were. This concept seems to have taken over my thoughts lately. That we must take the good with the bad, accept the everything we are a people to truly love one another and yet I did not do that with my mom. I was good a judging her, blaming her and thankfully near the end reconciling with her, loving her, and enjoying her. Damn, I miss her. It's a pain so deep and a hole so large no one will ever be able to fill it. I know that eventually life will go on and I will hurt less. I know this because I now have 2 of these holes in my heart, my daughter and my mom, but now is not that time. I don't want to enjoy life, right now. I don't want to not feel her loss. I don't want to be strong. Honestly, I don't want to do anything. It's a struggle to even get out of bed everyday, still, 3 weeks in and I feel like I can't breathe. It's made me question everything about myself. Did I spend so much time blaming her that I didn't see my own faults? No, I see my own faults, they are painfully obvious to me. I just don't know who I am now, without her. I don't know how to move on, without her. I don't know how to feel, without her. I don't know how to be, without her. I'm sorry, mom, for all the wasted days, months, years. I miss you, mom.

50% of people no longer believe in Jesus of those 50% 25% no longer even have church affiliation

When you're filling out paperwork and you put what your religion is like Baptist Nazarene Catholic or None 78% of nones were raised in the church

Generationally 14% of baby boomers claim to have no religion 

19% of the Gen X is which is like me claimed to have no religion and 

35% of my milineals which is the upcoming generation have no religion. 

So you can see where this trend is going higher and higher. 

What do you think the Gen Z's which is like Colton, Micah and Ava what do you think the percentage is going to be for them. 

51% of millennial parents which parents born between 1982 and 2004. Which thankfully a lot of not parents in the latter because Andrew was born in 2004 and we'd  have a problem there right! But 51% of those parents say that moral truth is relative. And 74% of millennal parents agree or somewhat agree with the statement that whatever is right for your life is right. Just gonna let that sit for a minute. So 74% of up-and-coming parents say that whatever you want to do whatever makes you happy is OK. 

We are losing ground quickly. We are called to create fertile soil we are called and commanded to create disciples. And not just disciples who are raised in the church and have a general knowledge of God we are called to create disciples that have a relational connection a deep intimate personal relationship with the Savior. It does not matter what age we are that call does not stop until we take our last breath on this earth. 

Relationships are missing in the church it is all about programming and not enough about relationships. relationships with each other. relationships with Christ. We have a discipleship disconnect we are totally disconnected from the idea of discleship and sometimes don't even know how to disciple one another. There is this overwhelming busyness going on that we are so busy that we are literally overwhelmed with life. Lifelong discipleship that is the outcome that we should be looking for in our nursery in our children's church and our young adults in our teens and in our seniors. But what we are seeing is a moving away from the church. 

 We cannot tell each other and just teach other what change is.the more we talk about what change is the less  change will see. the more we talk about and show who God is the more change we'll see. Because we don't change people, our programming doesn't change people, our speaking doesn't change people only the word of God, the Holy Spirit changes people. If you want to see kids change if you want see teens change if you want to see adults change lift Jesus up. 

And we really need to see change. families are breaking down the church is breaking down. We have too many choices, our pace of life is way too fast and we are on complete overload and that includes in the church sometimes. Families are just unraveling at the seams. Slow down! In Mark 631 Jesus says come go with me and let's go let's rest it's OK to slow down. Go home and make a stop doing list. Take a pause minute to say who am I becoming. Take some time to find out whether you are anchored in fertile soil or whether you are anchored in some rocks that uprouting itself. It's not God who is disconnected with us it is us that is disconnected with God. 

One of our general sessions speaker Melissa McDonald  said that we are a mes! we live in a mess  and we forget that we are called to something higher.  we are free but we are not living free. Another one of our keynote speaker set Brian Lortiss said that God does not care about our competency he cares about our character. But our society that knows little about character if you go and you 20 milenanals what is character and how do you get it they won't know the answer! Go back to the statistic that says 74% of millennial parents think that whatever is right for your life is OK. Whatever is OK for your life whatever is right for your life is not OK. character by its very definition means the moral or ethical quality. an honorable character your moral or ethical quality. Character qualities are honesty courage integrity. How much of that do we really see you today. Integrity is one of the first things I fell in love about with Douglas he was a man of his word he is a man of integrity. 

Instead of New Year's resolutions I pick and by pick up and pray about a word a word to focus on last year my word was rooted if I wanted to be rooted in the word I wanted to be routed more in my family and my relationship with Jesus and that's what I worked on last year. This year God has a sense of humor. The word I felt like God wanted me to choose this year was patience I told him no I'm not patient enough of that let's pick another word I am but don't know how often I prayed I still got the word patience. Something that the Lord showed me through Brian's session this is that being patient is not a passive resignation it is a active partnership. At some point we have to stop him being so upset having our pity parties we have to stop grumbling and grow up. patience is all about your attitude. Brian said that if we want a picture of patience we need to look to the prophets. Always let what you know about God trump what you're feeling. 

I think our main key note speaker Bob Goff he said that we need to be moving kids to higher ground we need to be moving them to the feet of Jesus and I agree with him wholeheartedly but I I feel likethat applies to all of us. we are called to be disciples and to make disciples of the world we need to be moving each other up to higher ground we need to be moving each other up to the feet of Jesus. 

So to finish us off I'm going to give us another statistic 40 to 50% of young people from good youth groups and families are drifting from God and the church after high school this research shows us that those who stay the course and flourish in the faith have multiple adult believers who are intentionally investing in their lives. Relationships discipleship it's all about Jesus it's all about intentionally investing in lives. 

So while there were a ton of things that I left CPC excited about The pray for me campaign and some of the discipleship programs were the the things I'm the most excited about. discipling our kids is something I'm super passionate about. The pray for me campaign is something that I'm gonna come back and talk to you guys on a deeper level about its something that I'm really excited about getting us all together and praying for our kids and teens and is very specific way. Inter-generationally coming together as a church can never go wrong there can we. Thank you. 

A wise woman

A wise woman told me yesterday to slow down and enjoy this time with my boys.  We were speaking about all my dreams and all this things that I want to do. She stopped me in my tracks with one sentence, " You will have time to all those things when the boys are grown". It took a minute for that to sink in, I only have a few years left with them.  When I turned 40 somewhere in the depths of my brain this switch turned and I started to panic. I don't think I even realized it until that moment. The last three years have been a whirlwind of stuff, just busyness everyday, with very little time spent connecting and enjoying my boys. You know it's bad when your kids are happy that you unexpectedly lost your job, when the continual string of hugs last for hours. I've been gone, mentally, physically and emotionally. It's a hard thing to realize that you've been preaching don't check out on your kids to then figure out you've checked out. We focus so much on the fact that their formative years are birth-five years old that we neglect those very important preteen-teen years. I had to profoundly apologize  and reassure you are important, you are cherished and loved, and I promise I'll be present. Reminding myself present doesn't mean in the room, house or general vicinity it means present; phone/ tablet down actively listening.

Timeless Truths

A timeless truth is a wise saying is followed and applied to life, brings positive results to your efforts - orderliness, success, contentment, happiness, security.... The Proverbs in the Bible are more than just wise sayings; they are divine wisdom itself, for they come from the mind of God, who is the author and creator of life. Read & apply the timeless truths found in Proverbs, and you will not only experience positive results from your efforts, but these results will have eternal significance. God himself will shower you with divine blessings, give you guidance for your next move, offer discernment in difficult situations and help you see the difference between right and wrong, important and trivial, wise and foolish, temporary and eternal.

But it is not enough to just read and know these wise words we must live them out day by day. We must obey.

Proverbs 1:2 " The purpose of the provers is to teach people wisdom and discipline, and to help them understand wise sayings."

Prov. 1:23 "Come here and listen to me! I'll pour out the spirit of wisdom upon you and make you wise."

Prov. 2:1 "My child, listen to me and treasure my instruction."

Understanding

Most of us want spiritual understanding, but we aren't willing to pursue it any further than listening to a few sermons or rushing through ten minutes of Bible reading. Often our failure to understand God's Word is due to our unwillingness to invest time & energy in persistent, serious Bible study. If you really want to understand scripture, consider following a focused & systematic plan of study. Make a commitment to apply to your daily life whatever truth you learn. When God sees that we are serious about pursuing truth & wisdom He opens our minds to understand some of the magnificent mysteries of the Spiritual life.

Proverbs 2:2b-7 ..."concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight and understanding. Search for them as you would for lost money or hidden treasure. Then you will understand what it is to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. For the Lord grants wisdom. He grants a treasure of good sense to the godly, He is their shield, protecting those who walk with integrity."

Mother of Pearl Day 6:

He Will Walk With You by Carey Bailey

As a little girl, I loved baby dolls. Loved them! I played school, adoption agency, daycare operator and babysitter all day. I felt like I was born to be a mama. Therefore, I was a bit anxious when the ages, 22, 25, 28 and 32 came and went and there were no babies. Have you ever desired something so much and feared never getting it? That was me.

My day finally came at the age of 34. I soon realized that God knew what He was doing when He had me wait. To my shock, it wasn’t as easy as playing with dolls. I was surprised that it wasn’t the dream world I imagined it would be! I felt like life became a gigantic prayer.

“God, HELP me!”

“Please, God. Please, please, please make it all better. I can’t do this!”

“God, this feels impossible. Where are you?”

While I adore motherhood, it is harder and there are more adjustments than I expected. (I am hoping there are some nodding of heads and Amen’s being said out there in cyberworld.) Not only did I have a new life to care for, but my identity suddenly felt all scrambled up. It took me until my son was one to finally feel confident in my new role as a mother, confident that I could drop my child off at preschool without crying, confident that I could go out with the girls’ and the world wouldn’t fall apart, and confident that I could go on a date night and have conversations that didn’t revolve just around our son.

I was feeling settled in my new world and then WHAM! I discovered I was pregnant again. Can I be vulnerable with you? I actually cried when I found out. And they were not tears of joy. I feel awful saying that out loud, and I hope you will give me a moment to explain. It was not that I didn’t want another baby or feel like I couldn’t love a new life, it was just that I got scared. Discovering a little person was on the way sent a panic through me. Would my son still receive the love and attention that he deserved? How was my husband going to feel about my body changing again? Would I ever be able to pursue the vision I felt God had for me in writing and publishing? I was truly wondering if I was going to be able to handle another intense wave of identity crisis like the one I had just been through. I wasn’t sure.

God and I needed a serious talk. And in that conversation He carefully reminded me of this:

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

He reminded me in our time together that I, too, am His child and He has every intention of loving me, caring for me, and giving me the future that He has planned for me.

As mothers, we can get so caught up in parenting that we forget that we, too, have a spiritual parent who loves us as His child. He loves you as much as He loves the children He has given you. He will never forsake you.  And on those days when motherhood seems too overwhelming and too impossible I step back and take a deep breath. Then I remember that this journey I am on, right now, is the one He has designed and create uniquely for me. I simply need to live in it, learn from it, and allow His love to sweep over and through me.

He will walk with me! He will walk with you! Grab His hand.

Carey Bailey is a recovering perfectionist, wife, proud mama, and the Family Life Director for her church in Arizona. She hosts an online community for moms called Cravings: desiring God in the midst of motherhood where she strives to make God time easier. Not less meaningful, just easier. She is the author of Cravings {The Devotional} which is a set of forty devotional flashcards for the mama on the go.


 Visit Carey online blog: www.cravingstheblog.blogspot.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/CravingsOnline and Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/careycbailey/