I'm totally insane!

I haven't had a day off in 2 weeks. Looks like I won't have one next week either. I've totally lost my mind. We had to buy a new ride since the saturn and the van have seen better days. We are trying to resurrect the van but the saturn is in the graveyard. So now we have to pay for this new ride, hence all the overtime. It's making me insane I tell ya. There are some other benefits to this crazy schedule I get to attend Avery's b-day party in Texas in just a few weeks and Doug and I get to go see Kamri and Evie in the Nutcracker Ballet in Dec. I'm totally stoked about both of those. I hope my rapid reward flying points add up fast with all this flying back and forth.

We are entering week 3 of no smart phones. :( I'm totally going through withdrawals. My whole life was in that phone and I hate not having it.  I blame this on myself as I had a momentary lapse in judgement and added teenagers to my cell plan. In the 3 years Doug and I have been with Verizon we've never gone over our mins our had an outrageous bill. The teens did it in a month. The younger boys will hate the older ones when it comes time for them to get cell phones, cause my first question will be. Do you have a job? No, well then you have no phone! Alex is already looking for work and he is 9! He asked our landlord if he had any jobs he could do that he needed to make $10 a month. I think he might have found something for him to do. Alex really wants that Lego Universe monthly subscription but mom's just not working overtime for that!


Andy and I went to the Florida Aquarium on Tuesday with the home school group. I was lots of fun and of course he really enjoyed it. Especially getting to see the penguins so up close and personal, since they are his favorite animal. I love our field trips we always have a good time and we get to do lots of fun stuff. I'm really looking for to January's field trip to Lego land! Hooray for group rates otherwise we couldn't go, it's like Disney expensive!

So there is nothing new really going on. Just me trying to make it through each day without losing my mind.

Andy & I at the Aquarium

Getting into the learning side of the Aquarium

Touching the star fish! that water was COLD!

Andy and his best friends Joel (left) and Jake (right)

Little Boys and Lots of Rain

I love love love my boys. I don't post as much about my kids. Other people have hysterical stories about their kids and the crazy things they do, I however don't. Maybe it's not so much that my kids aren't funny and don't do crazy cute things, Of course they do. However, let's face it, I'm stinking old and exhausted I just can't remember what they are later to blog about them. I try, I really do. I think oh man cute I'll blog later, sit down and yep it's gone. Gone like the wind! So my blog is most often whatever ramble I can put together on the days I can sit still and put two or more semi-intelligent thoughts together.

Today I even remembered to take a picture for this blog! Aren't we proud! This is my beautiful, funny, loving, huge hearted baby boy Andy. He will play inside most of the day and run outside late in the afternoon. This child has an it's about to rain meter buried somewhere deep inside. I kid you not 10 mins. after he is out the door it is pouring rain so hard you can't see in front of you. He is wet, outside and totally happy. He will be totally soaked then sit under the porch and watch the rain. It's a miracle he doesn't get sick but he doesn't and he loves it. My daughter Kaitlyn loved the rain too. In her very short time here, if it was raining she would cry until you took her out on the porch and suddenly she was quite. I like to think Andy got his love of the rain from his sister. I don't have the heart to make him come inside. So until the rainy season is over I guess he'll just be out in the rain in the afternoon. So if you drive by my house in the late afternoons expect to see Andy out watching the rain surrounded by a passel of neighbor hood kids that have decided our porch is the place to be. Isn't life grand!!

Things I am coming to realize

There are a few things that I am slowing coming to realize in this life of mine. Once again, as in my other useless lists, these are in no particular order.

1. There are not enough hours in the day
2. My husband mostly pretends to hear what I say
3. Life is harder than ever thought it would be
4. My house will never clean itself and the laundry will never wash itself (sadly)
5. I may never see the good things about me
6. I'm more OCD than I want to admit
7. I seriously dislike working nights and totally regret quitting at the church.
 8. I'm a compulsive complainer
9. I'm apparently not as angry as I used to be. (or so my hubby says)

I'm sure there are probably more but honestly I'm just too darn tired to think them up right now.
Here I am working overnights and there are a ton of things still to do during the day. I'm not a single person who can sleep all day and it doesn't really matter. I had no idea how hard this was going to be or how tired I would be. I had no idea  how my house would suffer and bedroom might never be clean again. ACK!

Men have severely selective hearing. Enough said.

I never, ever, ever in a million years thought my life would be like it is now. This is not a neccessarly a bad observation. Sure there are things that I would do differently if I was given the chance to go back and change things but I would also not be where I am now if I did. And I can not imagine my life without Doug and the kids.

I didn't realize growing up how much work it takes to keep a house going and clean. This fact was somehow lost to me in my growing up years. Probably due to my highly selfish nature. This is actually exhausting and I am just horrible at it.

Sadly, I will probably never see the good things about myself. I look in the mirror now and think who is this chunky person with the grey hair? Do I know her? She sorta resembles someone I used to know but not really. I'm older, fatter, with less energy and even less motivation. I tend to see the negative in everything, especially myself. I honestly can't think of anything I really like about myself right now.

My closet is color coated and sorted into sections ( at least it is when Doug is not putting clothes away) and it drives me batty insane that he hangs my clothes in the wrong spot. Although I don't tell him that because he might stop doing what laundry he does do. I can't even look in the boys drawers anymore without freaking out since they started putting their own clothes away. It's just too terrible!

One of my major regrets of the past year is when I walked away from being the sec. at the church. Enough said.

I complain about everything. Not an attractive trait, something I am desperately working on.

Apparently I used to be worse off than I am now. That is truly a frightening thought. This has to be tangible proof that God isn't finished with me yet. That He is changing me and that I am making progress! If it isn't just leave them in that delusion please.  neurotic thoughts

Completely Random Nonsense

I have writer's block so I have to make myself write something. So here is my completely random nonsense.

The kids were helping out by cleaning the kitchen the other day. Which they actually don't mind doing, strangely.

Me: Did you wipe down the table?

Boys: Yeah Mom we swept it.

Me: What do you mean swept it?

Boys: You know like with the broom.

Me: Seriously? Really? Are you kidding?

Boys: Nope it had crumbs on it.

Me: Lord help me!

I'm not sure where they got that idea. I'm pretty darn sure they have never seen me do that!!

Random Topic 2

School has started we are on week one and already Alex is driving his teacher nuts. Oh yeah it's gonna be a long year. It is not a good sign that Doug and I have to have a come to Jesus meeting before week 2 of school.

Random topic 3

Here are my first 2 cards! I decided I needed a completely Lone Estrogen hobby, no testosterone allowed hobby. My Mom does cards with Stampin Up and always thought they were really cute and so I've decided to give it try. I'm not really crafty but I'm quite proud of my first 2 cards! Extremely simple but really fun to do.

Card I made for Baby Job

Card I made for Danny's b-day

I am blameless.... Well at least this time

So the other night we are all sitting in the living room doing our various forms of entertainment when Doug lets off of fart not a small fart but a big fat noisy fart. First words out of Andy's mouth is "gross mom!" Hey that was not me! Doug of course is dying laughing that mommy gets blamed for his fart. My kids don't believe me that it wasn't me. Ummm I am a lady I don't fart out loud! I may on occasion fluff out loud but never fart. Who heard of such a ghastly thing! 

This has to be the difference between raising boys and girls. I have a sister and I don't remember farts being so talked about growing up but now it is the topic of lots of conversations in our house. I have to admit that I am succumbing to the boy topics in my house. It's hard to not be pulled into their gross conversations. I feel like I am losing my ladyship status a little more everyday! :) My mother would be mortified! She didn't raise us to be so crude! I have tried to introduce a little culture into my house full of vary levels of testosterone but to no avail. The second they even smell classical music or a classic movie they scatter faster than cockroaches in light. I literally think they can smell for at least an hour before I even think it.

Alas I am the Lone Estrogen. I feel like I need a sidekick now. The Lone Ranger and Tonto meets The Lone Estrogen and Meno (short for menopause). I guarantee estrogen and menopause win that duel! Apparently I will need to be more sneaky when it comes to introducing culture into my clan. Hey maybe I'll make it mandatory homework! *evil laugh* I can do that. I'm mom and teacher!

Motivated Moms

Motivated Moms is a printable chore planning system to help you have a clean and organized home and still have time for yourself! Motivated Moms is a great idea for anyone who would like an easy system to help them to know what to do each day. Just consult the list, do the work, check it off for the day and enjoy your free time!

I have this chore program I used to use it all the time years ago when I had my other house and I was the sec. at the church. Now that we've moved into our own place again I pulled out the good ole Motivated Moms and printed it out, put it neatly in it's nice binder and waited. And waited and waited. Disclaimer **** this does not come with the motivation to actually do the chores. I pulled out the nice notebook with the perfectly organized chore plan and stared at it. I got tired just reading it so I did the next logical thing and went to bed. 

Of course this is not a flaw in the motivated moms program (which is quite wonderful) but a flaw in myself. I did manage to spray the shower curtain down this morning before hitting the sack. Oh I did find something interesting before I went to bed that was a tad bit disturbing to me. 

I can not for whatever reason get this picture to be right side up. I've tried everything. But I'm reading the cereal box after pouring the cereal and I'm liking the calories, trans fat, I get to the cholesterol, it says omg cholesterol! Seriously! ROFL! OMW that slays me. It's an excellent source of vitamins & minerals but omg that cholesterol!  ROFL!

Omg Cholestreol!

The Life and times of a completely exhausted mom

The Life and times of a completely exhausted mom.... This is the name I should have named my blog only I had just come back from my wonderful trip to Texas and was pretty well rested. Now of course I am back to reality.

I worked all night, came home and worked on Job's welcome to the world gift for a few, caught an hour of sleep, had the homeschool swim party, home again for a short phone meeting with my mom, all before passing out on the couch for 4 hours. Most days aren't like this but it seems a part of the night shift to just stay tired. I am beginning to wonder if my judgement in taking this shift was a little off, but hey I have a job!

Andy has decided he wants to do a show bunny for 4-H. I have to admit I'm less than thrilled about this but he seems to be enthralled in the reading material for this. Who am I to deny him something that he would really love to do so I started to download the papers he needs to complete for a show bunny project. Now I am completely overwhelmed. OMW that is alot of info, so much so I don't even know where to start. Should be interesting. I'll be happy if Andy makes it to the fair with a bunny that is actually still alive! Thank goodness he didn't want to do a rooster or a hen. I'm afraid the first time that rooster crowed early it would end up dinner that night!

Alex is doing and Art and drawing project for 4-H. He is really excited about it and I can't wait to see what is in store for him with  it. He starts school in 2 weeks. Oh the joys of the school year.

 I am actually looking forward to getting back into some sort of routine. The summer has been long but good.

I don't care what my family says I am TOO FUNNY!

Honestly I really do crack myself up sometimes. However my hubby only laughs at me when I'm not being funny. Seriously?? I am so not amused by that! Andy my precious 7 yr old tonight tells me Aunt Taren is funny Mom you not so much! I mean really. Death to Aunt Taren and I LOVE my sis.

I'm surrounded by funny people. My sister is funny, my hubby is funny. Today I was the messenger between Taren and Doug how were cracking jokes to each other through me on the phone. WHAT THE HEY BOBBY! I feel like a stick out of place sometimes. It seems I have a sense of humor all my own that only I understand. That's okay. I'm funny, I know it, in my head it's freakin hysterical!

I was searching the web for some pics to go along with my blog. and I came across this.

I can assure you this is a crock of poo. I laughed pretty darn hard when I saw this but I am still overweight. I mean really please. I spend a week with 2 of the funniest people I know laughed till my sides hurt and didn't lose a pound. Americans are little too gullible if this book is actually selling.

Just in case your wondering. Yes I did have another blog.  I had some technical difficulties with my blog and my primary email so here I am starting all over. my favorite thing to do. So if you decide to follow me it probably won't make you laugh but hey it made me laugh so get your own blog!

Random Thoughts

My thoughts are so random these days. Lately I've been trying to get some of my creative thoughts out. I've had writers block for years it seems like. I can't get anything out that's intelligent. I have however been able to get some of those creative juices flowing in a few other ways.

I've always been drawn to music and images. When I listen to music it has to mean something to me. Has to touch me somewhere deep within for me to even listen to it for half a second. I heard this song not long ago "By Your Side" by: Tenth Avenue North. WOW! This song really hits me, it's like Jesus is speaking right to me. Every time I hear it invokes emotions that I just can't explain. I started working on a video to go with the song, I've seen some on youtube, and although they are good they just didn't speak to me. As a "side effect" Andy heard that song playing a lot the last few days and last night we were on our way home, from our Friday night hang out, he asks for this song. He starts to sing and I looked at Doug and could tell he was feeling the same thing. To hear his small voice singing, "I'll be by your side whenever you fall..... My hands are holding you.", my heart almost burst.

This is one 6 year old that loves the Lord. Through him I can see why Jesus says that we should be like children. Their hearts are so full of love just like our Savior!

Can you imagine the creator of the universe calls us His beloved! After all I've done, everywhere I've been, how far I've fallen, He loves me still, continually, as in never stopped loving me. I tell my sons that no matter what they do I will always love them, not always pleased, but ALWAYS loved. This seems to be the theme for this past week, I seem to keep running into this everywhere I go.

While writing this blog I was listening to some music and heard another song, go figure. This is everything I feel. How can a song so describe how you feel so deep inside that you thought no one but God could possibly understand.

Father, I know I have disappointed you more times than I can count. I know the only good thing about me is your Son, Jesus. Thank you for that, thank you for Him. Thank you for never letting me go, for continually loving me. Empty my hands, fill up my heart, capture me mind with you. Father, help me to never walk to far from you, I love you Lord. I need you Father. I never want to be without you. I want to feel you every second of everyday. I want to focus on you! Help me see you in everything I do, Help ask you before every step I take. Direct me, Father. I love you, JESUS! I LOVE YOU!