A wise woman

A wise woman told me yesterday to slow down and enjoy this time with my boys.  We were speaking about all my dreams and all this things that I want to do. She stopped me in my tracks with one sentence, " You will have time to all those things when the boys are grown". It took a minute for that to sink in, I only have a few years left with them.  When I turned 40 somewhere in the depths of my brain this switch turned and I started to panic. I don't think I even realized it until that moment. The last three years have been a whirlwind of stuff, just busyness everyday, with very little time spent connecting and enjoying my boys. You know it's bad when your kids are happy that you unexpectedly lost your job, when the continual string of hugs last for hours. I've been gone, mentally, physically and emotionally. It's a hard thing to realize that you've been preaching don't check out on your kids to then figure out you've checked out. We focus so much on the fact that their formative years are birth-five years old that we neglect those very important preteen-teen years. I had to profoundly apologize  and reassure you are important, you are cherished and loved, and I promise I'll be present. Reminding myself present doesn't mean in the room, house or general vicinity it means present; phone/ tablet down actively listening.